ENGLISCHE REDEWENDUNGEN (für den nächsten Urlaub auf der Insel )
That have you so thought!...............Das hast du dir so gedacht! Give not so on! ..................Gib nicht so an! Heaven, ass and thread!.............Himmel, Arsch und Zwirn! How much watch is ist?..............Wieviel Uhr ist es? Jack-look-in-the-air..............Hans-guck-in-die-Luft Us runs the water in the mouth together..........Uns läuft das Wasser im Mund zusammen Human being Meier!.............Mensch Meier! I only understand railstation..............Ich verstehe nur Bahnhof! It is me sausage!..............Es ist mir wurscht! My dear mister singing-club!...............Mein lieber Herr Gesangsverein! Now we sit quite beautiful in the ink!..........Jetzt sitzen wir ganz schön in der Tinte! Oh Double you!................Oh weh! This makes you so fast nobody after!.................Das macht dir so schnell keiner nach! Your English is under all pig!..................Dein Englisch ist unter aller Sau! slow going is alltrucks beginning!................Müssiggang ist aller Laster Anfang! to have a jump in the dish..............einen Sprung in der Schüssel haben to have much wood before the cottage...............viel Holz vor der Hütte haben to have not all cups in the board................nicht alle Tassen im Schrank haben together-hang-less.................zusammenhanglos
STÄDTE UND ORTE
Ass-Monkey-Castle....................Aschaffenburg Bathroom-rich-echo.....................Bad Reichenhall Double you upper valley..................Wuppertal How`s bathing...................Wiesbaden Raw-stick....................Rostock Rectal-town..................Darmstadt Spice-castle...............Würzburg There-mouth...................Dortmund To-sitdown-home...................Hockenheim Top of the train....................Zugspitze
Liebe Grüße Chris
Betrachte immer die helle Seite der Dinge!....und wenn sie keine haben? Dann reibe die dunkle bis sie glänzt!
CNN REPORTS A NEW VIRUS HAS BEEN RECENTLY DISCOVERED. ONE PERSON CAN PASS IT ON TO MILLIONS AS IT IS VERY CONTAGIOUS. THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL HAS REPORTED THIS WEEK THAT THE VIRUS SPREADS VERY RAPIDLY FROM ONE PERSON TO THE NEXT.THEY HAVE PUT A VERY INTERESTING NAME ON THIS VIRUS.
IT IS CALLED.......
A SMILE
@@@@@@ @@ _ _ @@ @@@ o o @@@ @@@ ^ @@@ @@@ \__/ @@@
) ( OH! OH! TOO LATE!!
I SEE IT ON YOUR FACE ALREADY!
You've got the virus!!!
ALERT! You have just been snuggled by a person that cares 4 ya!
"I wish for you..."
Comfort on difficult days, Smiles when sadness intrudes, Rainbows to follow the clouds, Laughter to kiss your lips, Sunsets to warm your heart, Gentle hugs when spirits sag, Friendships to brighten your being, Beauty for your eyes to see, Confidence for when you doubt, Faith so that you can believe, Courage to know yourself, Patience to accept the truth.
Have a Wonderful Day and Pass it on! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software,severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3 and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, Saturday Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband1.0, but this all purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!
Sincerely, XXX
Dear XXX:
This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible.
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 isn't designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common and a normal part of Husband 1.0.
In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0.
Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You'll notice that this program runs very poorly and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0 and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults & problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME".
Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command.Husband 1.0 should run applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C: I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0.
Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!
Just remember! The system will run smoothly and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you'll find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!
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und das tolle Bild mit "Buchstaben" ---> suuuper 
